An Irishman

An Irishman was drinking at the pub all night. The bartender came up to him and told him that the bar was closing. So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat on his face. He tried to stand up one more time with the same result. So he figured he’d just crawl outside, hang out for a while, get some fresh air and hopefully that would sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell again – right on his face. He decided to crawl the four blocks to his home and when he arrived at the door he tried one more time with the same results. Exhausted, he then gave up and started crawling to the bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright but he quickly fell right into the bed and fell sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

The next morning, he woke up with his wife standing over him shouting at him, “‘So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” ‘What makes you say that?’ he asked as he put on an innocent look. “The pub called, you left your flaming wheelchair there!”

If that one was not bad enough for you, here is another.

Patrick O’Reily wasn’t feeling too good so he went to the doctors. The doctor ran some tests and came back to tell O’Reily, “I can’t find anything wrong with you, Patrick. It must be the drink.”  O’Reily shrugged and answered, “Don’t worry about it doc. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”

Share your favorite Irish joke or Saint Patty’s Day story with us. Just remember that PG-13 is a must.